


Misery Loves Company

by aliscoles



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/M, Humor, Not sure what tags it needs, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Slow Burn, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22647082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliscoles/pseuds/aliscoles
Summary: When Nancy O'Rian gets cheated on, she thought it was the worst day of her life. Then she met a demon. Don't get her wrong, that didn't make things worse. Honestly, it made things kind of better. Certainly, she's had things that have ended worse. Like her engagement. But will that cheating bastard get what he deserves? Well, if the demon has his way...
Relationships: Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)/Original Character(s), Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)/Reader, Beetlejuice/Originial Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	1. Misery Loves Company

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation for myself. I stumbled across an animatic for the musical and knew it would end in disaster if I walked down that road. Unfortunately for me wisdom is not the same thing as self control. So here is that disaster.

Betelgeuse was living large, well as large as you could live while crashing in Westend Cemetery. Sometimes when he felt like really living it, he went into Westend Funeral Home, nothing like watching funerals to get some kicks. There was no going back to the Netherworld, not until things cooled down there, which meant he was stuck wandering the mortal world. Despite the heavy denial of just how fall he had fallen, even Betelgeuse could, in the comfort of his own mind, admit, that _maybe_ things weren’t going well as they could have been for him. 

Breather times and dates didn’t mean much to him, but he would learn later that it was on a Friday at 4:30(ish) that was when Nancy O’Rian walked into his afterlife. Or rather, walked _back_ into his life. Though he didn’t know her name, he knew he had seen her before. Perhaps a week ago (or honestly maybe a month, time passed weird when it didn’t affect you). The only reason she stood out at all in his memories was, for a brief glorious moment he had been _certain_ that she could see him. And that was the only reason he remembered her. Because other than that there was nothing about Nancy O’Rian that would catch Betelgeuse’s attention. Last time she was a small drably dressed office worker-looking woman, who carried herself with the same confidence a mouse might. 

This time however, she caught his eye and would have caught his eye even if she wasn’t the only visitor at the cemetery. Nancy O’Rian came storming into the cemetery, with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses clinking in the other. She was dressed like she had been last time, like she had just gotten off work from the world’s most boring office company. But there was no steeled sadness in her eyes this time, instead she seemed to be nearly vibrating with rage. 

_What the fuck is up with her?_ Betelgeuse mused, leaning against a headstone, watching Nancy storm through the cemetery like a woman on a mission. 

“Well, Emily,” Nancy announced, addressing a headstone. She kicked off her black kitten heels before dropping herself onto the cemetery lawn. Her legs bent at a decidedly unladylike position. She took the wine bottle to her mouth and ripped out the stopper with her teeth. She poured wine into one glass and slammed it down on the headstone with enough force to crack the glass. Wine leaked onto her ‘companions’ headstone and the proper little office worker didn’t even seem to care, “I’m glad you’re dead.”

 _What the fuck_ , Betelgeuse mouthed.

Nancy poured her own glass, “Because if you were alive you would be insufferable right now.” She downed her glass in a go. “But since you're dead, I’ll throw you a bone.” She poured herself another glass. “You were right. Jeremiah is a sleazebag. I should have never got engaged to that cheating **fuck**!” Nancy’s voice became a strangled cry of rage. 

“He’s fucking Ruth. Ruth Greenwater!” Nancy’s voice was thick with incredulity. Betelgeuse leaned his cheeks into his palms. This was the most drama he had heard since the Davenport funeral, and he was _living_ for it. 

He, unlike Nancy, could imagine cheating on her. She wasn’t much to look at, all buttoned up and proper with her hair pinned back up like the unsexy sort of librarian. Although now that there was rage pumping through her, he could see _some_ appeal. 

“He’s not even a good kisser!” Nancy cried out, her wine sloshing out of her glass. Betelgeuse’s eyebrows raised, Nancy certainly didn’t pull her punches, “Did you know?! I had to convince him that I didn’t like kissing so he’d stop slobbering on me. So like, what the fuck is Ruth even getting out of this?! I hope that _backstabbing bitch_ walks out of _our_ apartment unsatisfied, CUNT!” 

If Betelgeuse had blood it would be pumping to all the wrong places. He felt his usually cold body start to heat up. He pulled on his tie. It was definitely wrong to get turned on by the angry misery ranting of some stranger but, well damn. 

“And _GOD_ Em’! I have dealt with having a fiance who can’t kiss - _I haven’t been kissed properly in a year -_ and for fucking _what_?! Apparently not for his winning personality!” Nancy downed her wine with anger vigor, wine sliding down her neck staining her very proper white collar. Her face turned in his direction. 

Betelgeuse’s dead pulse almost thumped. He got to see her fury full on and not just from her profile. Anger burned like hot steel in her grey eyes. Her lips looked plumper, wine stained and pulled down in a scowl. _Fuck, she’s actually hot!_

“What are you looking at?!”

Betelgeuse froze. There was a moment of silence in the cemetery. 

“Well?! You got something to say to me?!” Nancy picked up her shoe. 

He checked behind him. This time there was no one behind him. It was just the two of them. He whipped his head back around.

“Wait!” Betelgeuse toppled over the tombstone in his rush to get closer. “You can _really_ see me?!” He looked up at the shimmering amazing _not lame at all_ office worker, his golden ticket to freedom, who he would never think one bad thought about again - and took a shoe to the face. 

“Of course I can see you! What sort of fucking question is that?!” Nancy raged, holding up her other shoe threatening. 

“Woah, woah, doll!” Betelgeuse sprang to his feet holding her shoe in one hand and holding his other hand up unthreatening. Her aim was surprisingly accurate and her shoes were practically bludgeoning weapons! He laughed nervously. _Damn does her skirt look shorter without her shoes on - wait no focus! She’ll hit me again!_ “I think we got off on the wrong foot!”

Her nose crinkled up and rage was still sparking in her eyes but she didn’t hurl her other shoe at him. “I’m not your misery porn!” 

_Oh but you could be dollface._ Betelgeuse coughed into his fist and held out her shoe entreatingly. “I’m not enjoying your misery.” He lied. “In fact, I want to help you.” Now _that_ was the truth. 

Nancy’s face wrinkled in confusion. Like anger it wasn’t a bad look on her. “Is that some sort of pathetic pick up line?” She asked, but she took a step towards him, eyes darting to her shoe. 

“Not at all babes.” He soothed, shaking her shoe enticingly. 

Nancy moved closer. Up close, and when he was actually looking at her, Nancy wasn’t quite as plain as Betelgeuse had thought her to be. Not bad to look at for a breather, and not a bad breather to attach himself to, or perhaps he got more generous to Nancy since she was now useful to him. 

Nancy’s hand darted forward snatching her shoe back, then she ducked around him. 

_Not a bad ass on that one,_ Betelgeuse mused, turning to watch her flee. _Hate to watch her go, love to watch her leave._ Then it hit him. _Wait shit! That’s my golden ticket!_ He had to get this mousy office worker to say his name three times. His opening was clear, her cheating fleabag of a fiancee. _Ok, Betel you can do this!_


	2. Dormouse versus Rattlesnake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betelgeuse has had plenty of time to work on his sales pitch but desperation gets the better of him, luckily for him Nancy is just as desperate as he is.

Nancy was moving very quickly towards the cemetery exit, which was a big problem. Until Betelgeuse got his freedom, or bound himself to someone. He could only step foot in places saturated with death. Some random street just wasn’t going to cut it. So, Nancy couldn’t leave. For any other specter this would have been a tenuous situation, but for Betelgeuse this would be a walk in the park. He adjusted his ripped suit and fixed his tie. After all, he already knew all of the buttons he needed to press. 

First thing was first though. He had to interrupt her dramatic exit. It was a simple thing to displace himself and appear in front of her. Nancy jerked back violently in surprise. “Sounds like you got yourself into a tough spot, little missy.” He leered down at her. 

Nancy’s eyes rounded in shock. She looked up at him with her grey eyes looking larger than they ever had. “How did you get in front of me?” Her voice came out a faint squeak. 

Betelgeuse smirked down at her. She was acting like a mouse again, but this time it was cute. “I’m dead.” He told her plainly, enjoying how already pale face whitened. “And this is your lucky day babe, because I’m here to solve all your problems.”

Nancy stepped back and raised an eyebrow, “Solve my problems?”

“The little fiance problem.” Nancy flinched at Betelgeuse’s words but he pressed on. “Heard everything you said. What a prick am I right? Nobody deserves that treatment, certainly not such a sweet little thing like you. You just say my name baby, and I’ll take care of everything for ya. Anyway you want it baby, if that’s the way you need it- strangulation, drug overdose, good ol knife to the heart? I’m very flexible-”

Nancy’s eyes widened. “Woah! Woah!” She held up her hands. “I don’t want to kill him!”

Betelgeuse tilted his head to the side. “No one will know you were involved babes. I’m a genuine demon from Hell. I know exactly what I’m doing.” He soothed but Nancy didn’t look less concerned, in fact, she looked _more_ concerned. “This guy cheats on you with someone you know and you don’t want him dead?” Betelgeuse refused to believe that any one could walk in on their fiance cheating and not at least humor murder. 

Nancy frowned quietly. She wrung her hands. “I mean… I thought about it when I found them together. Then I thought about flinging myself into the riv-”

White hot terror shot through Betelgeuse, nearly dying his hair white on the spot, “NO!”He seized her shoulders. “You absolutely positively cannot, under any circumstances die. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve spoken to anyone?!” He hadn’t even realized he had been shaking Nancy until he noticed a dazed look in her eye, “Please don’t make me beg - alright I’ll will.” He dropped to his knees, clutching Nancy’s hands in his, which seemed to be the only thing holding her up, “This is me begging! I can’t stand being invisible for one more second, and you, you can change all that! I **need** you Nancy! Really really need you! You’re the angel to my demon. And I think you need me too- what? Why are you crying?”

Betelgeuse stared up at Nancy. Behind her wide frame glasses her grey eyes were starting to water. Her bottom lip trembled. It was a violent motion that brought Nancy’s up. Betelgeuse scrambled back, falling on his back, expecting Nancy to slap him. Instead she buried her face in her hands. Cries choked out from her mouth. She stood there shaking and crying into her hands, before her knees started to shake and she knelt down in the cemetery lawn.

Betelgeuse fidgeted as he watched Nancy cry. Slowly he leveraged himself onto his knees, so he was crouched beside her. “Do… Do you really want to die that badly?” He asked her carefully. This was actually going to be difficult if she were determined to off herself. 

“No.” Nancy’s voice warbled. “It’s just that-” her voice broke and she sniffed, “Nobody’s said anything that nice to me in a long time...” 

Betelgeuse’s nervous smile shifted softer now that he didn’t have to worry about Nancy flinging herself off any bridges, and he put a hand under her chin. “I’m going to be _real_ nice to you babe.” He promised. 

Nancy’s sniffled into her hands looking at him from between her fingers. “But I still don’t want to kill him…” _Fuck! Why do breathers have to be so damn noble?! Can’t a guy have a little fun?!_

“But…” 

Betelgeuse perked up at the opening, “What is it babe? Anything for **you** babe!”

“I don’t know… I feel like… I mean he ruined my life and he’s just going to get to walk away from it...”

“So some nice light, nonmurdery - just a teeny bit maimey - revenge and a nice side helping of ruining his reputation. Hell! I’ll even throw in ruining this ‘ _Ruth_ ’s’ life a bit, that make you smile, babe?”

And when Nancy didn’t immediately protest, Betelgeuse knew he had her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might take me a bit longer, gotta rework some stuff. Please comment, it makes working so much more rewarding.


End file.
